American League Least Valuable Player

Hello world,

It looks as though we hear at benchrichiesexson.blogspot.com were not the only ones who thought Richie's year was particularly deflated and disastrous.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?columnist=stark_jayson&id=3041066

LVP!!!!!!!!!!

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

If you're not first you're last and if you're last, at least you stand out. But, if you are actually last, then that is something to be proud of. Way to go Richie! Way to go!

For the Love of God and All that Is Holy

We should have named this blog "Bench Richie Sexson and Play Adam Jones." This is the line for Jones' past 17 plate appearances: .400/.438/.867, with 3 of 6 hits for extra bases, one walk and two strikeouts. Doesn't walk as much as I'd like to see but he's been hitting for great contact and is a great outfielder.

What Skipper McLaren said about waiting for a guy to heat up and carry the team apparently doesn't apply if your middle name isn't Lockwood. Adam Jones, , despite his recent hot streak and incredible play in the field, is riding pine in favor of utility first baseman (if that's a thing) Ben Broussard. Nevermind the fact that putting Ibanez at first and playing Jones in LF gives you a massive defensive outfield upgrade -- Rauuuuuul just don't move like he used to.

What does it take to win the manager's love? At least thirty years of age, apparently.

Looking Forward

Since the M's are pretty much the fork-sticking-in type of done this season, your friends here at Bench Richie Sexson have begun a new blog, Trade Richie Sexson, to analyze the options available for getting his ass the hell off the team. Have a look.

Trade Richie Sexson

It isn't enough, apparently

Apparently, benching Richie isn't enough. This has been an extremely pathetic dive into never never land. Maybe next year, eh? Let's keep watching though so Sam doesn't get pissed at us for being fair weather fans.

A win? Is that a win?

That Felix Hernandez bastard is lucky. That's a lot of runs in the first four innings. A win's a win, but giving up seven runs every other game doesn't seem like an ace to me. Trade 'em all. That is, the entire starting pitching staff and Richie Sexson for anyone else. Felix still has trade possibility. Everyone thinks he's good still. Get a real ace, please. Then, fill the rest of the starting pitching with nobody's from AAA. Crap, we should let Richie pitch. He'd be better than Weaver or Ramirez. This is the AL. He wouldn't have to bat.

Speaking of Talking Pubes...

...McLaren has decided to bench someone today, but it's not Richie Sexson. Jose Vidro, one of the three brighter spots in the lineup (the other two being Ichiro and Adrian Beltre), will be taking a seat. I'd like to think that the manager has simply decided to give JV the day off, but who knows?

Lockwood's lockdown

I agree with Sam. See his post. Its genius. This man Sam is a prophet. The Mariner's are officially 1 and 13 in their last 14 games. That will kill your wild card hopes. That's why I am playing the grabass. I'm depressed about the quenched excitement of this baseball season. All I can do is sit around and grab my ass all day. Its really satisfying. You should try it.

Maybe we should turn this blog into a forum for discussing my animated series about everyday life as a talking pube.